by Cindy Clemens
Join guest presenter Cindy Clemens December 26-28 for a group conversation and private life coaching sessions to create a compelling vision for 2020. Visit our Event Calendar for activity details.
With the start of a new year comes the promise of a fresh slate, a chance to make changes and course corrections. So often that involves making a few hasty resolutions of what we should or shouldn’t do only to break them a few days later. To compound this, we focus on what we want to have and do, hoping that leads us to a better life next year.
Most people know at some level that this model does not work. Focusing on what you have and do as the way to be happy, successful, and satisfied with life comes up short every time. This reminds me of small children at Christmas. When they have several presents to open, they tear into each one, only pausing for a moment to see what’s inside the box. The desire to keep opening new presents is more important than enjoying what’s inside the ones already unwrapped.
We often seek the next big present under the tree. When we keep focusing on the having and the doing without first grounding our actions in being, we will continue to feel like frenzied children at Christmas, never able to stop and just live in the moment and feel satisfied. It’s not about always getting what we want, but instead wanting what we already have: an incredible mind, body, and spirit that contain all of the wisdom and guidance we will ever need in this lifetime.
That is why the model works so much better in the order of Be – Do – Have. This allows our life choices to be an extension of our being, our true self that wants desperately to be heard and followed. When we focus on being authentic, we attract work that allows us to use our gifts and talents and feeds our hearts. We allow ourselves to pursue our heartfelt desires when we embrace being fearless. When we align with being flexible, we can navigate each day with joy and ease.
Actor Tobey Maguire (Spider-Man, Seabiscuit) understands the process of defining yourself by your being and not by your doing or having. During a recent interview, I heard him describe his reaction to being so successful at such an early age. He actually stopped acting at 18 and spent months in a kind of philosophical retreat, questioning himself. Ultimately, he connected with his true inner being and realized that his work as an actor was not who he really was – it was only what he did.
I certainly understand what he was saying. I arrived at the same place when exploring the role my law career played in my life. By getting a better handle on my core gifts as a people developer, an idea sharer, and a community creator and realizing what was most important to me, I understood that I would still be that person whether I expressed it by doing legal work or something else. Once we connect with our being, the decisions about what to do and what to have are guided by truth and authenticity, which rarely lead us astray.
About Cindy Clemens
Cindy Clemens knows about designing a great life. After 15 years as a trial attorney in California, she traveled the country in an RV, became a life coach and motivational speaker, and moved to southern Utah, a journey detailed in her book Life Is a Do-Over. Her specialty is helping people identify their gifts and passions, feed their inner flame, and do more of what brings them joy.